SJ “AHA” PLANNING

Get four SJs together, each of a different type, and factor all the differences in.  The goal of the group is to plan an event that will be enjoyed by all 4.  What do you have?  A situation that requires understanding each other and how to accommodate the differences of each.

The first requirement for success in this situation is understanding.  And it is true of every group or organization, but on an even larger scale because organizations are made up of all the variations of each of the four temperaments -- 16 types.

If you have a family of four, you potentially have all four temperaments represented.  At any rate, it is highly unlikely that all four are identical temperaments.  So when you are planning for your family, who do you leave out or forget to accommodate.  You don’t want to leave anyone out, but if you do not understand each other, someone is most probably going to get hurt and “feel” left out whether it was intended or not.  For some temperaments this can do serious damage to the individual and to the relationships.

If you lead a group or an organization, you will lead best when you understand those you lead and when you provide for the differences: communicating with and treating people according to how they are made.  When you do understand, those you lead will know it and recognize you as a respected leader.

For you, the understanding will provide the “aha moments” of insight that bring you confidence as a parent or leader of a group.  Those moments will provide you with joy for your "Joybox"! 

The Joy of Liking Who I AM

Have you had this experience?  When I was younger I did not like “who” I was.  I was “different” — at least I felt that way.  And to a certain extent it was true.  

First, I’m an introvert — someone who recharges quietly with no one around or with only a few who are close friends or family.  Only about twenty-five percent of the population are introverts.  I definitely like my opportunities for solitude.  Therefore, I did not have a lot of “girlfriends” like the girls who were extroverts.  That made me feel like an “outsider.”  I had just a very few close friends.  Furthermore, I did not seek out the parties, but I was happy when I was included in the invitations.  After all, SJs are a social temperament.

Second, I am a female "T" (thinker, rather than an "F" -- feeler).  Since two-thirds of females are Fs, that meant I was paddling upstream, against the current of expectations.  I never swooned over Evis or the Beatles, etc., (this reference dates me) although I was responsive “inside myself” to the music.  As a teenager, it was difficult for me to understand what all the excitement was about.  It didn’t make sense.  (I can hear you laughing.)

Feeling different resulted in my rejecting who I really was and attempting to become like the mainstream of society — the extroverts and the female Fs.  That really felt weird!  What’s more, it resulted in my being irritable because it was like wearing clothes that didn’t fit.  Can you identify?

It took many years and finding a wonderful life consultant (I just happen to have the good fortune to be married to the best) to discover who I was designed to be.  Now that I better understand who I am, I can be more tolerant of others.  I can detect the differences now and it makes me much more appreciative of their struggles and my own.  I understand why those who are of a different type

(the Fs) don’t feel  the same way about things as I do or don’t think the same way about something like those of my type (the Ts).  Becoming more emotionally intelligent is creating a new world in relating to others.

Each temperament has its own struggles with their emotions.  It is our emotions that fuel our strengths and drive us to accomplish what we are designed to achieve. I’ve learned that my emotions are perfectly crafted to help me be what I was designed to be.  If I had the emotions of an E or an F, I would not be able to function well in my strengths.  When I am engaged in tasks and activities and when I am performing a roll for which I was designed, it feels good.  I feel “at home” — even when facing a challenge.  That’s being “intelligently emotional” to a small degree.  Joy is a great fuel!   And I have joy when I am living in my strengths.  It keeps me fueled and “ready for bear!” 

Are you fully aware of your innerkinetics?  Are you living in your strengths, or are you trying to wear “someone else’s clothes?”