Sunday, November 15, 2015

The Golden Rule Revisited


Any discussion of relationships, understanding, and emotional intelligence usually touches on the Golden Rule at some point.  Typically it is restated as “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  So what does that mean?

If I am an individual who loves to have people around me, go to parties and events where there are crowds of people and interact with perfect strangers readily, then I should treat others in a friendly, gregarious manner and as though they enjoy that too, right?  That’s the way I like to be treated!  

Well, if I do that, you know as well as I do that I’m apt to be avoided by some people and thought to be an “in your face” type of person.  So, how do I correctly interpret the Golden Rule?

Making an effort to think of the wishes of the other person is the first step.  But we really need to understand the other person to know how to treat them by this rule.

What I really want is for others to treat me “like I want to be treated.”  So, I need to treat others “like THEY want to be treated.”  Isn’t that a more accurate interpretation of the words?  I think that is what the Golden Rule really meant.  

This is where real emotional intelligence comes into play.  We need self-understanding as well as an understanding of others.  To honor our InnerKinetics (our core drives and urges that make us who we are) and their InnerKinetics is the essence of carrying out this rule.  We are all created wonderfully, but differently.  

So what’s this got to do with JOY?  Have you thought of what a joyful world this would be if everyone honored each other in this way?  I know this is idealistic, but so is world peace.  We all want world peace!  What better way to start than to honor every human being as a wonderful creation and treat them as they would want to be treated.  When others treat you like you want to be treated, does it not bring you joy?

How about setting a goal for each day to make an effort to understand one person of your choice to the extent that you can treat them with regard to one thing in the way they want to be treated.  One day, one person, one thing about them — understand and treat them according to how they want to be treated in regard to that one thing.   Treat them that way and share the results.

Go on now.  Go out and create joy!  For both of you!  I’d be willing to bet that it will give you joy to accomplish this, even if only for one day and one person.  And if you succeed, I KNOW it will bring that person joy.