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| pixabay.com/Masai |
There is a beautiful legend telling of an African tribe that ritualizes forgiveness. When a tribe member acts irresponsibly or unjustly, the offender is taken to the center of the village. Work ceases and the entire village — every man, woman and child — gathers in a large circle around the accused. Then the tribe bombards the rejected person with affirmations!
One at a time, friends and family enumerate all the good the individual has done: every incident, every experience that can be recalled with some detail and accuracy is recounted. All the offender's positive attributes, strengths and kindnesses are recited carefully and at length.
When all have said their praises, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the outcast is welcomed back into the tribe. Restoration is complete.
When all have said their praises, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the outcast is welcomed back into the tribe. Restoration is complete.
What a beautiful ritual! They replace hurt with happiness, pain with peace, and bad with good many times over. The rejected one is restored and the village is made whole once again.
Even if we did this as individuals in our own relationships, would the world begin to change? Anger and resentment can only be dispelled through forgiveness and forgiveness frees the one who forgives to be happy and joyful. It humbles and anoints the offender with the balm of peace when they choose to accept it.
In our current climate of division, hate speech and animosity, can we heal our nation — and our world — by beginning with this? We can't change another's actions. We can only change our own behavior. Is this a place to begin?
Each temperament has strengths that can be used to best facilitate their ability to forgive and thereby experience the freedom and joy it offers. If you are finding it difficult to forgive someone who has hurt you and would like to explore how you can get "beyond the past," consider Break Free by Ray W. Lincoln and remember, forgiveness frees the FORGIVER; it's for you, not the offender (who may never even know they are forgiven).
