Monday, January 4, 2016

DETAILS! ISTJs and Stagefright

Details can plague everyone in life.  If you are of another temperament (other than SJ), consider that
attention to details is one of the strengths of the SJ's temperament and that an SJ might be a real asset on your next project.

Maybe you're a creative NF who sees the "big picture."  You have the strengths to see the finished project, but how do you get from here to there.  Likewise, the SP is great at tactical, quick action decisions, but what about those that require logistics to accomplish projects that require a great deal of attention to detail?  Such tasks can surely take a lot of "fun" out of the present moment.  And the NT is very strategic, but would rather be the visionary and get the ball rolling.  The NT can count on the SJ to keep the ball rolling and on course.

However, while detail is a strength of the SJ, sometimes the other letters get in the way of the SJ's success.  Let me relate a case in point.

When I was in elementary school, there were "Interscholastic League" competitions.  Does anyone out there remember them?  Oh well, never mind. That probably dates me terribly.  During my third grade year, I was selected to compete in "Story Telling" because of my skill at hearing a story and retelling it with all the details so perfectly.  I had no problem at all in retelling a story to my classmates, parents, or whomever, and doing so exactly as my teacher had read it or told it to me.

Competition day arrived.  To this day, I can remember the feeling.  I suddenly realized that I would be retelling a story on a stage in a strange place in front of a lot of strangers.   As the story was read to the group of contestants, stage-fright set in.  When it came my time to retell the story, I had no clue what the story was about beyond the first scene.  I stood on stage, frozen at first, and then began to tell a story that began as all the other contestants had begun, but soon took a surprise direction and end as I somehow fabricated, from my imagination, a story I had never heard in order to suppress my total ignorance of the real one.  Needless to say, I did not win.

Furthermore, the entire experience was one of complete humiliation that "did a number" on my self-esteem.  I don't remember what I did after that, but I am sure it included some acting out.

What happened?  My "I" overpowered the other letters - even the "T."  Introverted SJs don't like to be in the spotlight unless they are in a very familiar setting and among familiar people.  I was traumatized by the episode.  I can remember the panic I felt to this day.  It made me extremely conscientious about getting the details right from there on.

Have you noticed that SJs (like me) tend to correct every detail when you are telling your story?  Well, don't be too hard on us.  We are hardwired to get the details right.  If traumatized by an experience like mine, they may be even more so.  Just laugh to yourself and try to appreciate how their attention to details can help you or your team reach your next goal.  It will be good for your team and for the SJ's self-esteem.  (And Ray, when you read this, I'll try to leave counting the wildlife completely to you next time.  LOL!)

The Miracles within CHANGE


Yesterday, with great reluctance, I dismantled the Christmas tree and packed away all the decorations.  Traditions are a huge part of the SJ’s world and Christmas has always been very special in my life, such a miracle is this season. 

As a kid, Mom recognized it’s importance to me.  She always had me assist with the decorations and when I was big enough to handle the task on my own, she turned it over to me.  

When we moved into our first BIG house, I added a second Christmas tree and began a tradition of having a crowd of friends over for a Christmas Tea (English “high tea” style) on a Sunday in December.  The traditions grew with each passing year until our move to New Zealand in 2005.  Traditions had to change then, of necessity.  Change and tradition seem to oppose each other, and that's exactly what happened then.

There must also be a moving beyond traditions like Christmas (although all the beauty, warmth, memories, and magic of sharing with family and friends during the holiday creates my reluctance). So, I have moved into the new year with the hope and anticipation of what this year will bring.   

Changes are taking place in our lives, as I am sure they are in yours as well.  That’s inevitable as long as we are alive.  Change happens constantly.  SJs dislike - or are very cautions about - change. Admittedly, it has been a challenge for me to adjust at times.  But change we must, and the best idea is to accept the changes and make sure they are changes for the better, aided by positive attitudes, growth to accommodate the changes, and an eagerness to see the miracles that the changes bring.

Yes!  I did say “miracles.”  Miracles are only recognized in hindsight, you know.  Therefore, with each change, and even in the apparent “calamities” you face this year, watch for the miracles that you’ll see when you look back on the experience.  When you anticipate the miracles, it’s much easier to adjust to the changes and struggles.  Let’s make it a “tradition” to welcome change and watch for the miracles they bring.