Thursday, October 15, 2015

Choosing a Mate Requires Understanding


A couple of signs hang in our home.  They read:

A happy home is where both mates feel they got better than they deserved.

Happiness is being married to your best friend.

Both of us feel that way.  Our relationship began as a friendship and has continued that way.  Both of us feel very fortunate to have each other.  We admire the qualities in each other that we lack in ourselves.

How did you go about making your selection of your mate?  Did you seek advice from parents, magazines, websites, movies, friends?

There is an abundance of questionable advice on “how to attract a mate” these days.  Unfortunately, people are taking the advice, which is often questionable, and the result is failed marriages.  The divorce rate is astounding in our country today.

My advice regarding just one aspect of a relationship

Joy comes from being your best self, the wonderful person that you are created to be, and everyone is created wonderfully.  Be your true self!

When you are not happy with yourself, you are seldom happy with others. Successful guidance and advice comes from encouraging a person to develop the strengths and person they have been designed to be. 

When advice that does not take this into consideration is followed (even when the  process achieves the immediately sought result), the end result is unhappiness and disatisfaction.    We should not become someone we are not in order to win the attention of a targeted mate.  We cannot continue the masquerade consistently and remain happy.   

We are the best mate when we are truly the person we were created to be. The best mate for each of us is the mate who appreciates us for who we really are.  

Society has so glorified “coupling” that the reason for it has been lost.  The two are to become one.  Each is not to lose his or her own identity.  But the two temperaments should be so complementary of each other and appreciative of each other’s strengths that they balance each other, thereby creating a completed individual.  Their strengths fit together like a completed jigsaw puzzel.  Perhaps that is why we see so many SJ-NF unions in society.  These two temperaments balance (complement) each other very well. 

The only way to accomplish such a successful mating is for each partner to be truly who each is and to encourage each other in that endeavor.  Be your true self!

 It all boils down to one ingredient.  The ingredient that is missing in successful relationships, then, is understanding — of the other person and of ourselves.  With understanding, our goals will be right and our relationships will be right.  There is real joy in understanding.

♥♥  Therefore, get understanding.  ♥♥♥